it’s hard to not have high expectations of someone who is capable of so much.
so much passion. so much life. so much beauty. so much spirit. so much love.
but expectations get us no where. only trust that it all will be.
if i have faith in anything, it’s you.
12 years ago today jay and i went on our first date. i can’t tell you where the years went, or “how we do it”, or what it means for our future. our relationship has been minute by minute, day by day, month by month, and now, year by year. i won’t say it’s easy, i won’t say it’s perfect, and can’t even say with any certainty it’s forever. these expectations have never been there with us, yet here we are, years after other promised marriages have failed. is that the key? i can’t even tell you that i know what love really is. all i know is that every day i wake up next to my best friend, and i can’t imagine my world without him.
besos to you, darling. and many more.Filed in autobiographical | Tagged with anniversary, jay | Comment (1)
thursday 1/22 – transportedSF – got to visit the 2 SF ballparks. well, the areas nearish to them anyway. because i’m not a sportsfan, i’d never really visited either. it was nice. i like things after-hours. with dancing.
friday 1/23 – left work early not feeling well, missed the event at the deYoung, tried to take a nap but couldn’t, went out dancing @ 1015 but left kinda early.
saturday 1/24 – the edwardian ball.
sunday 1/25 – clothing swap with the ladies. scored some new black shirts.
monday 1/26 – went to work, went to the gym.
tuesday 1/27 – we went to hear dalton conley speak about his new book – interesting, but not mind blowing. the discussion went very wide and covered everything from how the Obamas having grandma move into the white house is a positive sign for family values to how the large proportion of women in the modern workforce makes this a different economic-domestic situation than the 1930s (related) to how the $value$ of education has changed (specifically, the ROI on tuition and what it means for the future of education) to how the protestant work ethic has affected american value systems and consumer habits and how reprioritization is going on, partially due to the economy, partially due to generational shifts and technology, and whether or not the increasing overlap between work and play is a good thing or a bad thing (americans are reportedly working more hours a day than ever, many of them from home at odd hours, and more causal workplaces and ethics are resulting in fewer strictly-professional relationships). or something. i’m not sure, really. there was a lot of talking but not a lot of points to be made. the notes i took include phrases like “ecclesiastical insecurity”, “protestant curmudgeons”, “convestment” (the blurring of consuming and investing, e.g. home improvement projects), “imaginary wealth”, “the intangible economy”, “relative disparity”, “neo-tribalism/neo-feudalism v. individualism v. institutionalism”, “meritocracy”, “frolleagues” (friends who are colleagues), and “the myth of transparency” (how online phenoms such as facebook that are set up to increase social interaction might actually increase our isolationist tendencies and neo-feudalism, allowing us to filter and group people in ways according to information we formerly didn’t have insight into, and also how the mediated interface allows us to avoid both meaningful interaction and meaningful confrontation). tangentially related should-read: the macropocalypse and what is “smart growth”?
friday night i stayed home because i was tired.
saturday 1/31 – jay and i both got haircuts and then we spring-cleaned the house for hours and hours and i colored my hair back to red (and black). my other hair was just not syncing my current internal/external theme, which can maybe be vaguely defined as 80s glamrock/rockstar. you know – axl rose and such. that’s what i’ve really been feeling lately, and my hair wasn’t looking very rockstar. now, it most definitely does. the reviews from the peanut gallery have been mixed (not everyone is into the long fauxhawk), but i don’t care. i woke up this morning and my hair looked better than it has in months. that’s the kind of haircut i like. anyway, was going to go out dancing saturday night at party nearby in the san antonio district, but somewhere between cleaning and hair-coloring i developed wicked headache (too many fumes?) and so stayed home. heard the party was very good, but a friend got mugged/physically assaulted walking to/from, which makes me agitated. she’s ok and the thief got scared off, but i really hate feeling like we can’t even walk down the street around here.
sunday 2/1 – we had an anniversary party. it was sunny, we have awesome friends, it all turned out quite well.
fell a little off the exercise wagon last week; need to get back to the gym tonight.
coming up next, jay‘s got a DJ gig tomorrow night, the I Love You Because… gallery opening on thurs 2/5, helen’s sock-puppet party on friday, jay is DJ-ing this awesome fashion event @ Mighty that you should come to saturday afternoon: LoveBomb, and then there’s some other party jay isn’t playing saturday night.Filed in autobiographical, bay area gems, friends | Tagged with anniversary, jay | Comment (0)
8 years ago today jay and i went on our first date.
then, i basically moved into his house a couple of days later
and we’ve been wandering around aimlessly together since.
i don’t know much about love, as i think it’s subjective
and mine seems to change every day
but what i do know
is that when it finds you
- true love –
and there ain’t no getting rid of it.
everyone wants to know when we’re getting married
as far as i’m concerned we’ve been married in our hearts for years
and the truth is
i’m just too lazy to plan a wedding.
plus, weddings aren’t for everyone
at least according to some people
and as long as those people continue to determine what marriage is,
i don’t want one.
back to us.
happy anniversary to my best friend~
i love you more than chewing gum.
we are going up to Tahoe this weekend, for the first time in the winter. tomorrow is our five year anniversary ( i know… *gasp!*. and don’t ask me if/when we’re getting married.) and we’re going to go play in the snow to celebrate!Filed in photos | Tagged with anniversary, jay, love | Comments (11)