dreams/wasted youth
Oval – Ah! from Thrill Jockey Records on Vimeo.
.::.beauty.::.
.::. this is how i dance in my dreams.::.
.::. this is the kind of dancer i have always wanted to be.::.
.::. this is the body i want to realize.::.
.::. how much dance would i have to do to make this dream come true?.::.
i said these things to jay after we watched this video and he got a “really?” look on his face. it’s one few places where we don’t connect. some of our ideas of beauty don’t match.
.::.
i am really starting to feel my youth lost.
for example:
as i’ve gotten older, i’ve become aware of how rigid i can be. such a stickler for rules. dogs off leashes. cars double parked in the bike lane. use of email headers. phones in restaurants. and so impatient, too. how is it that someone can stand in line for coffee for 10 minutes and then not have any idea what they want when getting to the counter? and isn’t it rude to sit and talk for another 10-15 minutes at a restaurant after you’ve paid your check and the table has been cleared and there is a queue of very hungry people waiting to be seated?
.::.
and how. HOW?! can anyone possibly believe that President Donald Trump is a good idea?
.::.
the world is mad and so am i.
4 Responses to “dreams/wasted youth”
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I don’t think it’s lost youth. I think it’s city living. What you illustrated is not being a stickler for rules, it’s learning mores that are necessary for cohabitation w. other people in a large, crowded city. We both come from somewhere really rural where these issues aren’t important and moved to somewhere where ish like this is. Sit for too long in a restaurant in rural MI or rural Upstate NY? No big. It’s not like people are waiting for your booth.
I have definitely noticed a tendency towards more rigid thinking which, I believe, leads to being more frustrated, irritable and short. The world should/would be running so much more smoothly if people just stopped behaving like such self-absorbed jerks! And then I’ll catch myself doing something that ever-so-capably demonstrates what a self-absorbed jerk I am…
The world may be mad but I’m doing my best to stop being mad at the world, the world is.
Maybe I’m missing something but other than wearing ballet shoes she doesn’t actually seem to be doing a lot of fancy ballet moves, except for the brief part where both of her feet are en pointe. So I don’t see why you couldn’t dance like that right now, without any training. I feel like I could. It’s just ballet-inspired freestyle. Watch the video again and just dance along with her.
Give it two hours, and you’ll have her whole routine down.
Maybe there is something deeper you are yearning for that this dancer represents to you. I love you.
thank you, vera. i would give the dancer a little more credit than to say an untrained person such as myself could spend 2 hours and repeat her performance, but i get what you’re saying.
i love you too!