constructive dialogue
obviously, this blog is public, and comments are allowed. anyone who can spell my name correctly can find this blog and read all about my life. i also have a pretty open policy about who i “friend” on facebook. i know a lot of people who don’t friend their old high school classmates, or their cousins, or their in-laws, or their coworkers/bosses/professional contacts. totally understandable. but i have been staunch in my philosophy of totally open communication with this. i am not sure why.
there have been a few unfortunate incidences where people were offended or hurt, and i learned the hard way not to write about other people very much. especially people in your family. but not write about politics or social issues? i am not going to avoid that. in fact, i encourage dissent/disagreement/discussion. how else do we learn about or from each other or the world?
so this post on online disagreement by helen jane really hit me:
Back a few years ago, before we had access to everyone we ever knew and all of their ideas, disagreement had a different place. Yes, there were still the same people who thrived on debate. Those people who relished sparring and matching wits. But for the most part, we kept our opinions private. Especially opinions concerning religion, politics, child-rearing and lifestyle.
Disagreements with these big topics were handled privately, rarely.
But now, in this digital age, we share our thrill about an election on Facebook and people come out of every nook and corner of your past to tell you how wrong you are and make you defend it.
Sure, there’s something to be said about the broadening of ideas and input being a good thing, but emotionally? I’m not prepared for this. We haven’t been properly trained in critical thinking in a way that allows us to separate disagreement with an idea from rejection of us.
When people we like or respect disagree with us, it still feels crappy.
i had to stop for a minute and think about how i struggle with this. i do. and i find that for myself, doing one of the tactics she goes on to talk about, “agree a little”, for me often becomes acquiescence. i end up saying “oh, ok. you’re probably more right than i am”, because 1. by this point i am usually tired of the argument and 2. i don’t want the person to be angry with me/ruin the relationship. so i “let them be right”.
overall, that’s not the worst thing to do sometimes. but if it leaves you feeling like you didn’t stand up for yourself, over and over again, it is.
h.t. ariel
Filed in blogging | Comment (1)yoga mind
i don’t kow why i am always amazed at mental revelations i have when practicting yoga. i mean, that’s what it promises, right? yoga for the body AND MIND. yet somehow i am always surprised when it actually happens.
last night there was a substitute for my vinyasa class (at the Y) who teaches mainly hatha yoga, which i don’t usually practice, as honestly, i get bored. i am not struggling to be flexible. my hip joints are hella open. but in doing the yin stretches (slow, deep stretches focused on releasing joints) the teacher commented that yin yoga is important (as opposed to yang, which focuses on strength/the muscles) because through repeated action, adhesions are formed that restrict movement. and i was like: yeah yeah, i know all about adhesions. that’s what happened to my neck/shoulder. that is why i am in this gym working out all the time.
and not that i haven’t considered it before and obviously this is what psychotherapy is all about, but i was suddenly struck by the how true this was for the mind. mental adhesions. patterns. apron strings. malformed connections that need to be undone.
there are a lot of signs pointing me in directions right now. i think this was one of them. i haven’t quite figured out where they are all directing me to, but it is somewhere else, forward. movement is needed. new pathways.
also, it always becomes very apparent when i get back in to regular practice that while i definitely get the physical benefits of yoga, the thing about my yoga practice that is best for me is just the act of going. the commitment to going even when i don’t want to. the feeling of achievement that even though i was tired and kind of sick and not in a good mood, i still went. i think this is big for me because i am otherwise kind of a slacker. if i don’t feel like doing something, i generally don’t. but through these many years (10?) of yoga practice, i have learned that for me, a commitment to going is the most important part.
Filed in food, health & vegetarianism | Tagged with yoga | Comment (0)TONIGHT in SF: The Coat Hanger Project
TONIGHT: if you care about supporting safe access to reproductive medicine, please consider coming by this event. if you can’t make it at 7, the after-film presentations and discussions starting at 8 are also going to be noteworthy. This screening event is about what we can do to protect access to healthcare and reproductive rights for all.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=185951494779423
dreams/wasted youth
Oval – Ah! from Thrill Jockey Records on Vimeo.
.::.beauty.::.
.::. this is how i dance in my dreams.::.
.::. this is the kind of dancer i have always wanted to be.::.
.::. this is the body i want to realize.::.
.::. how much dance would i have to do to make this dream come true?.::.
i said these things to jay after we watched this video and he got a “really?” look on his face. it’s one few places where we don’t connect. some of our ideas of beauty don’t match.
.::.
i am really starting to feel my youth lost.
for example:
as i’ve gotten older, i’ve become aware of how rigid i can be. such a stickler for rules. dogs off leashes. cars double parked in the bike lane. use of email headers. phones in restaurants. and so impatient, too. how is it that someone can stand in line for coffee for 10 minutes and then not have any idea what they want when getting to the counter? and isn’t it rude to sit and talk for another 10-15 minutes at a restaurant after you’ve paid your check and the table has been cleared and there is a queue of very hungry people waiting to be seated?
.::.
and how. HOW?! can anyone possibly believe that President Donald Trump is a good idea?
.::.
the world is mad and so am i.
wasted, cut and dried
recent films:
Waste Land (netflix) – a documentary about art and poverty, esp recommended if you enjoyed that amazing TED talk by french artist JR on using art to “turn the world inside out” and help impoverished communities – can art change the world? or at least a small part of it? while the setting of this film is the giant landfill outside Rio in brazil, the movie doesn’t really mention or suggest anything about reducing waste or get into environmentalism. i think the movie didn’t talk much about landfills and excess because the setting speaks for itself. this movie is about using art to change people’s lives who are on the receiving end of the damages of our first world excess, and it’s pretty heartwarming and inspiring. it will likely change the way you think about the people living in these places and might also incidentally change the way you think about waste. music by Moby.
Wristcutters: a love story (netflix) – another excellent very dark comedy, about the afterlife world of people who commit suicide. was not quite the tone that i was expecting – in a good way, and Tom Waits, as always, is an excellent character.
Get Him to the Greek (netflix): another lowbrow male comedy starring a pudgy wannabe who is going for the girl/fame/cred/whatever. if you liked Forgetting Sarah Marshall and/or Superbad, you’ll probably like this. or if you just like looking at Russell Brand, which i do. these kinds of movies are funny to me, but i don’t really LIKE them. i really, really could have done without the “performances” at the end. i have to admit though that Puff Daddy really made me laugh in this one. he was the best part.
Filed in art, tv, books and movies | Tagged with TED | Comment (0)
