intellectual properties

2009 was

something grey

a blurry line, illuminated,

between hope and the future

a swaying platform of change

feet unsteady

unsure of who or what

pubescent with insecurity

with all eyes looking forward

belief in the future

overriding the past.

.::.

abbreviated:

starting with the january oakland riots,

my car smashed

and my love for my city dented, bruised

in february i became an aunt

and for the rest of the year my heart was pulled homeward

in march i visited the family

and stopped funding my 401(k)

in april we went to new york

and i was braver than i’ve ever been on a runway

may brought hot springs and Nine Inch Nails

june there was an alien invasion and other things

and in july there was again Priceless

and then i won an undeserved blogger award (in 2010 it most certainly goes to the Holden Archive) and then perhaps unsubconsciously refrained from writing much of anything on the subject since

august meant a return to Phish and, counterbalanced, a nonreturn to Burning Man

with the addition of a family trip to mexico

and then came september, with it’s gorgeous autumn days and finally

FINALLY

a long-awaited extended vacation to Europe for 4 weeks

where we wandered and enjoyed, aimless with bounty

when we returned life was somewhat subdued, and shortly after then is when my body pain started

-i’m at the end of 7 weeks now-

and since then i feel i’ve been focused so hard on my body that

i can barely remember what else has happened in november and december,

some wonderful things, i know, and much love and support from all the humans in my life,

but it all seems very foggy, muddled, like the light from a frosted bulb.

.::.

i know from all the things i’ve read, seen and quoted this year that i have been thoughtful, but it seems not a lot of that made it into words written here.  all very internalized, it feels.  i spent a lot of time this year in my head. cerebral.

and so i end 2009 a little broken, edges a little ragged, vision a little blurry, soul a little tired, but grateful, and yes, optimistic.

for 2010, i make no grand resolutions, other than to strive to be well and hope for balance and clarity, inside and out, personally and professionally, logistically and artistically.  if i can do that, it will be a great year.

here’s to you and yours, and thanks for following along.

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