prelude
Halo’d Man, originally uploaded by JasonUnbound.
When i was young
It seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical
And all the birds in the trees
Well they’d be singing so happily
Oh joyfully, oh playfully watching me
But then they sent me away
To teach me how to be sensible
Logical, oh responsible, practical
And they showed me a world
Where i could be so dependable
Oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical
There are times when all the world’s asleep
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man
Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who i am
Now watch what you say
Or they’ll be calling you a radical
A liberal, oh fanatical, criminal
Oh won’t you sign up your name
We’d like to feel you’re
Acceptable, respectable, oh presentable, a vegetable!
At night when all the world’s asleep
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man
Won´t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who i am, who i am, who i am.
that’s the jist of it, really. when did i become so logical and responsible? how did i become an “enemy of fun”, as one of my campmates described me? i wish someone would just please tell me who i am, because really - i’m seriously confused.
i had so many moments this past week, seeing myself in 3rd person in the context of burning man, wondering who i am and what the hell i am doing. this was not some sort of metaphysical psychedelic experience, mind you, as outside of a few margaritas and drinks of champagne, i was sober this burn. this was honest, sober contemplation. circles and circles of it.
maybe that’s its job for me, i don’t know. for everyone else, burningman = superhappyfuntimes! for me = confusethefuckoutofyou time! all i know is that burning man makes me one srsly confused human. while everyone else is “finding themselves”, i’m losing it.
but i digress, because if i start rambling about this right now it will be very boring and i might never stop.
anyway, we’re back safe and sound. more later.
Filed in burning man |6 Responses to “prelude”
Leave a Reply
Oof. The last time I felt that way after burning man was 2003, and I decided it was time to take a year off.
And you know the rest of the story, which can basically be summarized with “…and I never went back.”
Thank you for the Burner reality check. I took the year off! Didn’t miss a thing except for you guys!
seems like its hard for you to have fun when you don’t know who you are or where you’re going. i’m in the same boat. i’ve gone through some serious reprioritization lately, letting go of some desires that hold me to past identities or longings and really concentrating on what works for me right now, in this moment, today.
to oversimplify, there are those who can cut loose because they’re settled in their life and have the psychic freedom to do so. and then there are those who are well seasoned at expert escapists. it is easy to envy the latter, but that’s simply short sighted and painful.
my harsh advise is stop looking for the young carefree you, that may not (or may?) have ever existed, and focus on looking at what the adult you really wants and needs right here and now.
trix is so smart; he hit the nail on the head. no matter where you go, there you are…..and me not being settled with myself/who i am is only exaggerated out there. i will talk more about that later.
“my harsh advise is stop looking for the young carefree you, that may not (or may?) have ever existed, and focus on looking at what the adult you really wants and needs right here and now”
Wow. That hit me like a ton of bricks. That is exactly what I am feeling right now.
“enemy of fun”?! YOU? ROTFLMAO. Seriously.
I have always had a lurking suspicion that BM might be a confusing experience for me. I know I know, I should go and see for myself. And that is NOT the main reason I have not gone. But even without having had the experience I think I understand what you mean. I have even felt that type of thing at other festivals, Phish shows, etc in the past. Somehow it can be really weird when everyone is having THAT much fun.