one more time….
although these two still opted for the white dress/cake/reception format for their wedding celebration, which i’m not interested in, they have the same reasons for not signing the piece of paper that i have for not wanting a legally-binding wedding, which i previously tried to explain but didn’t so well as this:
We are also acutely aware that marriage is not an option for everyone, and we are resistant to becoming part of an exclusionary institution. We both identify with and feel compassion for the thousands of gay couples in loving, committed relationships who would like to get married and cannot. Some of these couples are close personal friends. If the day comes when adults of any gender can marry, whether it be in our state or nationwide, we will probably reconsider our choice regarding legal marriage…
…By not getting married, we also hope to sidestep some of the restrictions, assumptions, and definitions that many people would attempt to impose on us if we were to marry. The institution of marriage, as we see it, has had many burdens related to economics, religion and gender discrimination piled onto the statement it makes about love and commitment. We know that marriage has been the right choice for a lot of people, including our parents and many of our friends. We respect and support these marriages. We simply feel the need to establish our commitment in our own way. Call us unreasonable if you want, but we just don’t think the institution of marriage has evolved to a point where we want to join in.
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Ben & Joriel are the first couple quoted in Offbeat Bride because I think their perspective is so important — both for couples who chose to get married, as well as for those that don’t.
yes, thank you ariel! it’s nice to know that others are just as “unreasonable” as i am